"I don't think about the end game. I've got lots to occupy my mind. It's the rage that keeps me going"

https://www.justgiving.com/page/russellbrookes2025 Lately I've been having to just keep going. It's something that happens to all of us. We have this ideal, this way a day will go, in a perfect world, things will work in a certain way and it will all go to plan. We'll own the day, nothing will deter us from getting shit done. But life doesn't play out that way. We have so many things going on and sometimes other things take priority. Work, Health, family, parenting, it all can feel like something becomes a disproportionate burden, particularly when something feels harder, more monotonous, or more invested than it needs to be. I've had a lot of this going on lately. This isn't a moan. It's life and it's just playing out, at the time I really wanted to be ready, to have trained super hard. To be the best version of my running self, able to smash the 4 hours. But right now the best version of me, is needed else where. Sorting out work, sorting out adoption stuff, spending family time. so the Marathon, now falls into, just being good enough. Does that make me angry on some level? yes. But at the fact that life lately feels like stuff is just harder than it should be. You have to chip away and work, relentlessly, stuff that should be easy just isn't. And that is marathon running in a nut shell. The idea is simple. Run a long way, as fast as you can, or as slow as you need. Just finish. But you train and it doesn't go easy, sometimes you get angry at how it goes, and that anger can be used. That's the situation I am in now. I just have to channel the rage, accept I'm not where i'd hoped, but it's been for genuine reasons. So now I just need to accept the situation, it's harder than I'd like, I might not get the outcome I wanted, but finishing this journey, at this point, might be just what I need. So for now we'll just survive this and then we'll go again, 4 hours is doable. Just not right now. But that's ok.